“ And I love sexy heels. That is NOT an invitation to comment on my legs.”

A “ comment on your legs” is not the only possible response. Not all male responses are equal. Some are inappropriate. But “sexy” is about sex.

Why do you like sexy heels? What does “feeling sexy” mean? Why would you want to feel sexy? What does the concept even mean without male response?

More important, if you did want to attract male attention, as some women sometimes do, what shoes would you wear? The “sensible” ones? How is the man you are trying to interest supposed to know that you are not trying to attract interest? How are the women who do want to attract attention supposed to dress if they, and their “targets,” know that there are decoys out there who are dressing the same way but aren’t seeking male attention?

Life is complicated, and communication is difficult. The semiotics of dress are important to signaling between the sexes. Sexy clothes not intended to induce sexual interest are noise, not signal. That’s just not fair to anyone of either sex who is interested in making a connection.