I don't see that a non-expert can add to this very arcane discussion. But that won't stop me from typing.

If gravity is the manifestation of bent spacetime - i.e., if a thing being attracted to a bigger thing is moving "in a straight line" through spacetime warped by that bigger thing - then what actually does the warping if not gravitons? The curves are caused by the presence of mass. If mass gives off gravitons, and the gravitons warp spacetime, then they will have done their job.

It's very hard to understand attractive forces. It's not like the gravitons grab the apple and carry it back to the ground, is it? But if the gravitons from the earth distort spacetime, then the apple will go where that distortion takes it. So maybe the gravitons don't escape the event horizon but warp spacetime at the event horizon so drastically that everything approaching the EH flies right into the hole.