Mike Johnson Grows Up
Baby-faced Mike Johnson has gone through political puberty, and, true to his hormones, he has grown a pair.
Another, wiser Mike famously said that everyone has a game plan until they get punched in the nose. Back-bencher Mike’s plan was to plant his nose firmly up Donald Trump’s butt. Then Speaker Mike got some briefings, and, being more a fool than a moron, he learned why going down in history as “Moscow Mike” was not going to make his kids very proud.
Speaker Mike has also been treated to the assholery of his MAGA colleagues. He was once one of them, but he did not realize that he was in a barrel of crabs who would try to take him down if he ever dared to put country above race. (What drives Gaetz, Gosar, and Greene if not WASP supremacy?)
The Speaker says he “prayed over” his decision not to throw Ukraine, and with it much of Europe, under Putin’s tanks. We coastal intellectuals find that notion off-putting — we don’t have imaginary friends — but I respect the process. Religious people believe, perhaps rightly, that it is hubristic for mere mortals to make important decisions without divine guidance. When a politician says “I thought real hard about it,” which is really what “I prayed on it” means, why should we expect so flawed a vessel to have made a right decision?