So, what does one do about an enemy that puts military stuff under hospitals and schools and apartment houses? Using human shields is wrong and killing "too many" civilians as collateral damage (as opposed to indiscriminately) is wrong, but do human shields count? And, if they do, doesn't that mean, as they say, the terrorists win?

Hate can be earned. It can also be nursed or manufactured. We should not paint the concept with too broad a brush.