The problem facing non cis-het people come in two flavors - religious and egalitarian feminist - which covers a lot of ground.

Religious people regard non cis-het people as mistakes, and God doesn't make mistakes. So, there are no non cis-het people. Just some sickos. QED. To argue with them is to attack their entire worldview. Good luck with that.

The egalitarian feminist -the TERFs - take exactly the opposite view. For them, gender is entirely arbitrary. So, how can you "know" or "discover" your gender? You can't because you don't have one. It is imposed on you. To argue with TERFs is to attack their entire worldview. Again, best of luck.

Point is, instead of treating these groups as bigots, one must apply Hanlon's razor. They are wrong-headed, not malevolent. That, in my folk-etymological opinion, is why gays and trans people are the subject of "phobias" and not mere antipathies. We compete with those we are "anti," but we are undone by those we fear.