There is just so far that people will go to accommodate outliers. Most people need binary gender just to get through the day, find a mate, and procreate. The relative handful who don't need binary gender should be accorded respect as humans and allowed to be or do whatever their genes tell/allow them to be or do. But the rest of us learn gender the way young lions learn to hunt.

Do you think Eve didn't say to Adam "Hey, big fella. You use those muscles to find food and protect me and my womb, and I'll bear your kids and take care of your spear, if you catch my drift."? That's how the despised "ordinary" folks get through life. Those people don't have time for Judith Butler's POMO opacity. They have to put food on their families, and binary gender assigned by anatomy works well enough for their purposes. Everything else is elitist masturbation.