“You don’t get to decide to call someone by a gendered pronoun that doesn’t match their actual gender just because you like it better.”

It’s not a matter of taste. It’s a matter of effective communications. Some non-English names are unpronounceable by anglophones. Is it lazy to approximate?

I have no problem with a trans person telling me what gender he or she is, so that I can use one of the two pronoun forms that I have been using all my life. In contrast, non-binaries deprive themselves of my best thoughts (little as you may think of them) by demanding that I pay the mental tax of using a word with that does not flow from our tongues.

I get that you disagree. But life is more complicated than your outrage permits you to grok.